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Something has broken inside me and I don't know how to fix it. I didn't hear the sound of this crashing on the ground. But I feel the missing of it every day of my life since then. I dont know the name. I dont know where it was before. I dont know if it is going better and if I am just be impatient. I just dont feel myself as the same person I was before. Something broken inside of me and now I am a different person. A unperson person. I dont feel joy. I dont feel blessing. I dont feel real gratitude for being alive. I just feel wrong. Everything I do I do wrong. Even when I am doing right it will be the wrong thing to do. So, now I know, the world is the real hell. The world is a terrible place. Maybe the most terrible place. I dont fit in here. And I dont belong anywhere. I just was left here. Like a piece of trash. No one seems to care enough while I love everybody the most. It sounds ridiculous. And it is, for real. I dont want anything of this anymore. I’d want to stand frozen in the same place, just staring the end coming to me. I am not saying I will cause a sooner end. I wont, I swear. But I dont have any desire anymore, to fight, to go out, to dare the odds. I know all the results for me. They are all a big and loudly NO. And its ok. I wont fight anymore. I dont have a heart to allow me do that anyway. Its broken. And I dont know how to fix it.